Finally, I can work out my abs AND look like a dick!

I'm seriously trying to not put up so many videos and do more actual writing, but you gotta see this shit.

Oh dear lord, I would get laughed into unemployment if I ever brought that piece of shit to work with me.

Smokin' trees

This seems to be the only file photo that the BBC has of what they purport to be "cannabis". It keeps popping up every time there's a story about weed. But seriously, what the fuck is that?? What the fuck are they smoking over there? It looks like a handful of Christmas tree. Heh.

That's unfortunate

I saw this in the vending machine at work. Yet another product name run afoul of the American lexicon.

I like to party

Jonah lives in Tokyo doing video editing/commercial production or some shit like that. Jonah apparently has a lot of spare time on his hands. Peep his homage to the one and only unstoppable dance juggernaut otherwise known as yours truly...

Saru ga suki!

I fucking love chimpanzees, I could sit around and watch them all day. And it really doesn't get much better than a Japanese chimp that likes to play hide and go seek and hang out in hot springs.

When you're pushed, blogging's as easy as breathing

First off, let me offer my deepest apologies for neglecting my blogging duties this past week. The sad truth is sometimes there's just not a whole lot of anything worth writing about. 

And then there was Friday night...

Do you know what Friday was? Do ya?? Friday was the premiere of what can only be hailed as the feel-good hit of 2008. A film destined to go down in history as a shining example of what all other films should aspire to be. I'm talking about mutha fucking, bad ass, rip your face off, mutha fucking RAMBO!

Duuuuuuuuuude, da flick was tight! If you're looking for stupid shit like a plot or character development (pshhh!) then point your vagina elsewhere. They really got it right this time. There was juuuuuuust enough of what faintly resembled a story so that it wasn't just a 90 minute gory-ass shootout, not that there's anything wrong with that mind you. But holy goddamn that was a bloody fucking movie.

So yeah, highly fucking recommended. It also helps if you're with a bunch of bro's and a shitload of beer. Go see it NOW!

Stop de war

I still can't tell if this is a joke. Anyone?? Oh well, it's pretty fucking funny either way.

Wheel in the sky, baby

Never, EVER doubt the photoshopping prowess of the one and only Orin Brecht...

Happy barfday to me...

Twas my birthday this past Saturday, and along with that came many things, things like...

Birthday cake!


Bad tattoos!!!


Flippins!


And of course, living room birthday moshing!

A fucking felony

Did you know it's a felony to own more than 5 dildos in Texas?? I wonder if dual headed dildos count as 2? Hmmmmm....

Jesus? Is that You?

Personally, I find this much more compelling than that stupid virgin mary stain below.

I can has phood poisoning??

Today I wasn't feeling so hot, so I asked my art director to send out a company-wide email saying I wouldn't be coming in. This is what he sent...

Thanks, Ben. You're a fucking retard.

Unfortunate WTC ads

Dead men cash no checks

Don't worry, I'm not going to get lazy and just start culling stories from the various blogs I read every day, but this one was too good to pass up. Turns out some dude died and his genius roommate and friend decided they were going to wheel his body down to the check cashing place to cash his social security check. Wanna read the whole story? click here, yo

God I love New York.

In the name of Midgar I command thee!

AIM IM with yuki127.
10:55 AM
tell me how to post pictures

Posting pictures, huh? Hmmmm. First you have to say a prayer to the serpent god, Midgar. Make sure to speak in Aramaic as he is a mono-lingual Serpent god and he doesn't understand japanese or English. Then you need to sacrifice a new born child on an altar of ice and let the blood run into a fire stoked with the bones of the innocent. After that you're going to need some goat entrails. Take the lower intestine (make sure it's properly washed and de-fecalized) and string it up around the room starting in the northwest corner and continuing clock-wise until you run out of length. After you've finished...actually, fuck, I got this totally backwards. You need to do the whole goat entrails thing FIRST, and then the whole prayer to Midgar and baby sacrifice thing. Ok ok, so after you've done all of that a messenger demon should materialize in the center of the pentagram that you've drawn on the floor with baby placenta...did I mention that you need to draw a pentagram? Well you do. You can do that when you string up the goat entrails. Ok, so this messenger demon should appear and ask you for the image you want to post. It is very important that you DO NOT LOOK HIM IN THE EYE! If you do, you can kiss your soul goodbye. Tell him where on your computer the image that you want to post is, and that's all - done deal. Hope this helps...

like a necromancy....its difficult to do for me....because,, im kind of holy parson so... how can i see demon on computer? but i cant sell my heart to him...

dude. that makes no sense. just do what I said

11:25 AM

yes sir

What in the name of Britney Spears??

Albuquerque, N.M. - A New Mexico family is counting its blessings after it discovered an image of the Virgin Mary on their living room wall.

Donna Quintana said it's a much-needed blessing that appeared right before her family's eyes Christmas Eve. Her husband saw it first.

"He noticed an image there. He said, 'That looks like an image of the Virgin Mary,'" Quintana said.

"I feel like it's telling us something, like it's protecting us," Quintana said. "It's like a miracle."

Uuuuuuuuugh, seriously, WTF? Why exactly is this the Virgin Mary? Was the Virgin Mary the only person or thing that wore a hood/robe whatever the fuck that is? Personally, I think it looks like the grim reaper. Yes, you dumb beaner, it's the goddamn Grim Reaper! And it's comin' ta git ya!!

Or better yet, that's not the Virgin Mary, it's Britney Spears hiding from the paparazzi!

Or even Better yet, it's a fucking stain on your wall. Now get a fucking life.

I am a champion, I AM THE STRONGEST!!!

Peep this absolutely fucking hilarious anime clip from some old Japanese series. It tackles the age old issue of gaijin stealing all the pretty Jap girls. The best part is the broken, nonsensical English. Enjoy...

Call the landlord...

we've got toilet shrimp.

Brand spankin' new year

How did you start your new year out? I started mine by colliding head-on with a car service car riding home drunk at 5 in the morning. Shit, I flew right over the front of the car, bike and all and landed in a pile on the street. The whole fucking block stopped and gasped. Some lady even screeched "Oh my god, call an ambulance!"

But amazingly enough I was ok. My bike was ok. Everything was ok!

I got up, dusted myself off, slurred "haaaaaaapppy newwwww yearrrr" to the completely freaked out driver and rode off into the night..er, morning.

So I hope we all learned an important lesson today kids.

Eat your veggies and winners don't use drugs!

ps. happy new year