Slow day at work...

I keep trying to perform finger puppet shows for my friends over ichat video but everyone keeps declining my invitation to chat.

Their loss...

Bad Marks

Have you ever really stopped to appreciate the bathroom wall at your local bar? It really is a thing of beauty. When all the various scrawlings start to encroach on the last bit of negative space, a synergy is created. Hundreds of tags, thoughts, poems and insults become one giant snapshot of that given area's collective conscious. It truly captivates me every time I pull my weenie out in a public rest room.

This really has nothing to do with what I wrote up top, but lookie at this here funny picture of someone's shitty tag getting a bad grade...

Sleeping with lions

Last night I dreamt that I was sleeping on the Serengeti plane. Yeah, that's right, I was dreaming about sleeping, only it was in Africa and I was outside. How fucking weird is that? Anyways, at some point a lion came along and plopped down on top of me and went to sleep too. I woke up (in the dream) and was trying to unpin myself from beneath it when it woke up and began growling at me. I was pushing on its face, trying to get it off, but it was to heavy. I was obviously pissing it off because it began snarling louder. It was fucking terrifying. When I woke up in real life it turned out that instead of a growling lion pinning me to the ground I had a 105 pound Japanese girl on top of me--snoring right in my fucking face. True story.

My neighbors hate me

This weekend I rang in the summer with the most crucial BBQ my awesome ass backyard has ever seen. It was a bro-down of epic proportions fo sho. Fucking Swilly Nelson even came out of hibernation to bless the Council with the means in which to re-affirm our bro-hood. So yeah, chack out the Flickr set right here.

Flosstrawackass

So I went to the Flosstradamous show at Studio B last night. Wow, that shit sucked. I made it in time to catch the last three vomit inducing songs by opening band, Tiger Shitty. Talk about absolute fucking shit. I knew they were bad going in because I checked them out on the myspace beforehand. Live was a whole different story. Not only were they infuriating to listen to, they were annoying to look at too.

And then came Flosstradamous...

I probably would have enjoyed their set if I was still in high school. That way all the shit 90's jock jams they were playing would have possessed some sort of retro allure for me. Alas they didn't. They just reminded me of being forced to listen to the radio as I worked some shit job growing up. I like to dance. I just can't justify dancing to the songs that made me want to shove an icepick in my ear when i was in my late teens, early 20's. Either that or I just wasn't drunk enough. Yeah, that's probably all it was.

I'm Sorry

Dear Blog,

I'm so very sorry to have neglected you these past weeks. Like the dog I had as a child that turned out to be more responsibility than I had bargained for, you too are an endeavor which I sometimes wish I had never undertaken.

Unfortunately, in these short months since your inception you've acquired a small but loyal following. If I was to pull the plug on this whole operation, I would not only let down those 15 or 20 people who rely on you for up to date coverage of breaking news, I would also be letting myself down. So your legacy continues...for now.



R

Whose butt do I have my finger in now???

Why it's none other than fellow blogger Beverly of the most awesome Reality No Show super blog. It's crazy bloggy. Check it out.

Things I can't stop laughing at (TGIF edition!)